Auditing my blog

 

Once, I decided to delete this blog because of it's temptation to share every experience in life... I recall someone sharing a reminder... something like this - don't share about what food you just had because someone reading might be hungry, don't share joyful moments with your children for someone reading may be longing to have a child of their own, etc... don't remember the exact wordings but the conclusion is that whatever info you share, you should be concern of the effects it has to other people...

 

Also, I fear of pictures in this blog that may not properly cover my aurat/aurah and also my family member's and friend's aurat/aurah...

 

However, I decided to keep this blog because it provides a medium for me to share beneficial information with others...

 

So, I have audited and removed all personal post, which doesn't seem to benefit others much... and left post about my IVF experience (for people TTC) and other religious and parenting articles that I think could benefit others...

 

Remember dear friends, we will be judged for EVERY SINGLE THING that we do... don't let information technology be the reason for us to be punished in hellfire... use technology as a medium for da'wah and spreading goodness...

 

#this post serve as a self reminder also ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Kaedah Menghafal Al-Quran Kaedah DarwishDarwisya

Menuntut ilmu adalah Taqwa; Menyampaikan ilmu adalah Ibadah; Mencari ilmu adalah Jihad;

 

 

Alhamdulillah, DH and I managed to attend this seminar in Shah Alam last September. I am sharing here what we've learned at the one-day seminar. For anyone interested to get the full notes, just leave your email and i'll email to you a softcopy of the notes, in shaa Allah... Pn. Lina clearly stated that there is no copyright in her notes and she encourages us to share the knowledge we've gained with every parents we know...

So here goes...

For those who doesn't know who Pn. Lina is? She is the founder of Islamic Parenting Network (IPN) and is a mother of 2 young children, the eldest Darwisya (7 years) and the youngest Darwish (5 years). Both of her children managed to learn and memorize 30 surah of the Quran at the age of 3! You can learn more about this at her blog http://darwishndarwisya.blogspot.com/. She doesn't update her blog regularly but you can get newsletters from her by leaving your email at her blog and she'll provide you with useful tips on Islamic Parenting. I've learned about IPN and their series of lectures via her newsletters...

 

Pn. Lina only had her 1st child after several years of marriage (like us!)... while she was carrying her first child, she read so many books on parenting... both secular and Islamic parenting methods... Her inspiration to teach her children Quran at the very early stage is Imam Shafie who had memorized the whole of Quran at 7 years old! She is also inspired by the upbringing of Sultan Muhammad Al Fateh.

 

The secrets to nurturing a smart child are:

1. Start early!
2. Start right!
3. Consistent!

Pn. Lina stressed that it is our responsibilities as parents to teach our children. We cannot just rely on the school teachers who manages at least 30 kids in a classroom.

To memorize the Quran requires the function of both left and right brain. But, for children age 0-6 years, they learn mostly through right brain (imaginative/subjective). The ultimate vision when teaching Quran to our children is of course Heaven, our ultimate destination... that is why Pn. Lina chose to teach Hijaiyah letters to her children instead of ABCs... She believes that if we could teach our children Quran at an early stage, other skills will follow easily in shaa Allah... for example learning to pronounce the words of Quran will help kids with speech problem (pelat) because the pronunciation (makhraj) will train the tongue to speak clearly.

 

The essential steps when teaching your children are:
 

1. Cut the Noise - TV, radio, internet, newspaper...

2. Ignore a messy home - allow children to do messy arts and crafts to let their creativity grow.

3. Quran recitation during playtime and sleeptime. Especially when the child is about to sleep (baru  nak lelap/ mamai2). This period is called hypnagogic moment and science has proven that at this state, the mind is more ready to receive any input than at other times.. On the subject of sleep - try to adjust your child's sleeptime. Wake up early (suboh), nap at noon and sleep after isya'. Avoid sleeping after suboh,  asar and during maghrib.

How to teach?
Simply sitting down is not the effective way of teaching your children. Try to teach them in an environment which stimulates their visual, auditory and kinaesthetic (VAK model). For example, teach hijaiyah letters using flashcards with Quran recitation in the background while the children play their toys. Research has shown that children actually retain more mathematics if there is classical music playing softly in the backround. An example of applying the VAK model in your parenting is when complimenting your child - smile (visual), compliment (auditory) with hug and kisses (kinaesthetic).

0-4 months old babies can only see the colours red, white and black. So, start teaching using flashcards with these colours by hanging over their crib or at the area they play.
Start with baby friendly letters - aliff, mim, ba, ya, etc...

On using flashcard:
1. Select 5-7 cards that you want to teach;
2. Show each card for 10-15 seconds;
3. Look into your child's eye and let him see your mouth pronouncing the letters with open mouth (nganga luas2 ye);
4. Repeat 1-2 times each day.

Do not set any target when teaching as this will lead to stress; Beware! Do not yell and do not hit while teaching -  children could mentally shut down if they had bad experience while learning..

Try to think of creative ways of teaching, e.g. stick different flashcards in different areas of the house

After learning the hijaiyah letters, teach them the meaning of the rules (atas, bawah, depan), then teach them to read the connected letters.

Teaching tools:
1. Flashcards - a set for flashing, a set for sticking all over the house, a set for the children to hold and play
2 - CDs of Quran recitation - to play in the house, in the car

The most important of learning at an early age is to teach them HOW to learn not simply teach them what's in the book!

Foods which stimulate the mind:
1. Almond
2. Raisin
3. Fish oil
4. Dates
5. Honey
6. Habbatus sauda'
7. Tiin
8. Olive oil
9. Ordinary water which have been read Surah Taha (Fatihah 1x, Taha Ayat 1-23 11x) is a food for the soul (~doa nabi Musa utk mohon kebijaksanaan)
10. Egg
11. Ginger
12. Delima
13. Milk
# honey and milk is a must everyday!

Unusual tip - keep your drinking water and RICE in the bedroom because the bedroom is where you pray and recite Quran... it will affect the food to be more effective to the soul!

Avoid consuming any liver including cod liver oil, chicken wings, fish head, junk food, carbonated drinks.

Most importantly, PRAY! a mother's prayer antara doa yg terjamin makbul!

Side Notes:

1. Learn with your children.
2. Apply reward system
3. Spend time with your children (jangan kedekut masa dengan anak)
4. Didiklah anakmu mengikut zamannya - use gadgets for learning
5. Treat your children like an adult
6. The first 4 years (0-4) are the most important years of a child mental development.
7. As parents, we control our child, do not let your children control you.

When children showing tantrum, let them be until they stop by themselves. Do not give in. Do not be angry/yell/hit, it'll make matter worse.

How to get your child to do what you want:
1. Tell them WHY you want them to do something;
2. If they resist, show them you're mad without yelling;
3. Do a countdown cth: Ibu kira sampai 10 dah kena tutup TV;
4. Hit as a signal not to hurt (hit their ego);
5. Give motivation;
6. Give compliments;
7. Tell them about Allah's love;
8. Tell them the advantage of reading Quran - loved and protected by Allah swt...

What I've shared here is only 50% of what you'll actually gain if you joined the seminar. So, I definitely recommend attending the seminar to every parents. Visit www.islamicparentingnetwork.com.my for their schedule and location of seminars.

Pn. Lina mentioned during the starting of the seminar that we were the chosen one to have attend the seminar but not everyone in the room will have the motivation to actually apply what they've learnt. How true! So far we have implemented only half of what we've learned in the seminar. We still have a long journey ahead of us in teaching our son... but we do believe in the method taught by Pn. Lina. Lots of parents has success stories on teaching based on Pn. Lina's method (cth: umur setahun dah kenal semua huruf hijaiyah!). We just need to keep being motivated!

Next seminar - Seminar Parenting Gaya Al-Fateh, in shaa Allah will attend in January 2014 in Shah Alam...

Why we shouldn’t judge people

By http://themeaningofislam.wordpress.com

People are very quick to form judgements on others, and mostly without looking at themselves first. Being quick to criticize someone, a muslim or a non-muslim, is something to be avoided because we do not know a persons intention, and they may be far better than us.
 

A person’s outward actions

 

Right now, all we see are the actions that the person has done so far in their life. We do not know later on what they will be doing, or that in secret they might be giving away lots of charity (for instance) which pleases Allah, and maybe they will be much better than us.

 

Hadith #4 of Imam Nawawi

 

Prophet Muhammad said:

[...] I swear by Allah – there is no God but He – one of you may perform the deeds of the people of Paradise till there is naught but an arm’s length between him and it, when that which has been written will outstrip him so that he performs the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire; one of you may perform the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire, till there is naught but an arm’s length between him and it, when that which has been written will overtake him so that he performs the deeds of the people of Paradise and enters therein.”

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim, Narrated by Abu 'Abd al-Rahman 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud]
 

 

The lesson to be taken

 

We may see someone not acting in accordance with Allah’s actions and judge them to be a bad person. Only Allah knows their Niyyah (Intention) and later on in life they may be more succesful than us. We should focus on sharpening ourselves and strengthening ur good deeds rather than bickering with other people about details of their life.
 

Make 70 excuses

 

Hamdun al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims, said:

“If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves [ibid]“

And the words of Imam Jafar as-Sadiq

“If you find see something you don’t like in a brother, try to find 1-70 excuses for him. And if you can’t find an excuse, say ‘There might be an excuse, but I don’t know it.“

This is a very solid rule to live by when you see someone doing something wrong, because you won’t waste time worrying about them or trying to change them – one of the 70 excuses could be that maybe their Niyyah is not to do something wrong, or they do not know, or they will realize later and try to correct their mistake.

If we think they do not know what they are doing is wrong we should try to tell them in a gentle way. Pointing fingers and calling a muslim ‘Kaafir!’ is highly unlikely to be productive!
 

Prophet Musa and A;-Khidr

 

In Surah Al Kahf from ayah 60 till 82, is the story of Prophet Musa and Khidr. To sum up the story briefly, Prophet Musa followed a learned man called Al-Khidr to get guidance. He kept seeing Al-Khidr do actions that to Musa seemed wrong and Musa would speak up and point out that they were wrong. At the end, it turned out that Al-Khidrs intention had been good all along and though his actions seemed wrong he was actually doing them to benefit the people. This shows us that there are things of which we have no knowledge and should not think that we do.
 

Being harsh to non-Muslims

 

We will undoubtedly see non-Muslims behaving in ways that are not in accordance to our beliefs (obviously, because they are non-Muslims and don’t have the same lifestyle as a Muslim). Before we judge them and call them ‘Kufaar’ (a harsh term that is translated as ‘Infidels’ but really means someone who hides or covers, in this case, tey are covering up the truth from their Lord by denying it), we should think about the fact that all the people at the Prophet’s time were converts to Islam. They might have done actions that before were wrong but they converted to Islam and corrected their ways.

Ibn Umar, one of the closest companions of the Prophet, was on his way to kill the Prophet when he then converted. Now if someone saw him on his way to kill the Prophet and said ‘Kaafir! Infidel!’, they would be wrong in that judgement because he went on to become one of the strongest Muslims and leaders of our Ummah.
 

Calling muslims Kaafir

 

We should not call fellow muslims Kaafir, (which is a very common thing these days).

 

Prophet Muhammad said:

“If a man addresses his brother as, ‘O’ Disbeliever’ (Kaafir) it returns to one of them; either it is as he said or it returns to him.”

Sahih Bukhari 10/427 and Sahih Muslim 60, Narrated by Ibn Umar

This means that if a Muslim calls a Muslim a Kaafir, then one of them is a Kaafir but it is not the one who is being accused but rather the one who is making the judgement.
 

Standing united

 

We need to stand united as an Ummah, now more than ever when outside forces are trying to divide us all (divide and conquer!). We may not always agree wth each other but we need to focus on what we do agree on; that Allah is One and Muhammad is his Messenger. Anything after that is between us and Allah. Abu Bakr and Umar had different ways of ruling when they were Caliphs, and they never called each other Kaafir or quarreled extensively over their small differences. This is because we can only work with the knowledge we have to the best of our abilities and understandings. If someone doesn’t agree with us it’s okay; you’re never going to meet someone who agrees with you 100% on everything.
 

All judgement belongs to Allah

 

The Youm-Al Qiyaam, the Day of Judgement, is called that for a reason. Allah is the best of all judges and on that day everyone will be judged acording to their actions. We are merely human beings who have little understanding of these matters, so we should focus on ourselves so that we are not judged harshly by Allah on that day, rather than spending our energy on judging others.

 

Insha’Allah Allah will give us all guidance, and help us to help others.

The true meaning of Ramadan

A reminder to myself...

Credit to http://www.blueabaya.com

One day I watched all the ward clerks praying together with some nurses and doctors in the staff room where I was doing charting. I finally mustered up the confidence to ask about Ramadan, despite the fact that they were all Saudi males and I felt a little intimidated to approach them on this matter. I remember simply asking "why do you fast during Ramadan?"

I was blown away by the reply. Looking back, the way one of the men explained it to me in such a nice and respectable way was commendable, despite my seemingly super ignorant question

He told me: "We fast to remember all those people who cannot eat and drink daily. We fast to feel their suffering, to remind ourselves of how blessed we are to have food and water. "

"We fast to feel those same pangs of hunger that our poor sisters and brothers feel daily around the world."

"We fast to become more generous, to practise self-discipline and to strive to become better Muslims and people."

His words had a profound impact on me. Somehow I had failed to see the true meaning of the fast. I started to look at it from an entirely different perspective.

I came to realize, that in reality, Ramadan is so much more than just abstaining from food and drink during the daylight hours. Basically, Muslims are supposed to abstain from all harmful acts as much as possible and concentrate on becoming a better person and Muslim. Everyone can set their own goals for Ramadan according to their life situation and abilities. While one person struggles to quit smoking, another might set as a goal to read the entire Quran during Ramadan. Some might plan to pray extra prayers every day, donate to charity or memorize a new Surah from the Quran.

So I learned from my Muslim colleagues that Ramadan is also about remembering our Creator, reading the Quran, which was sent down during the month of Ramadan, doing good deeds (out of a sincere wish to do them, not by habit or force), being kind to others, giving out Dawah (teaching, not preaching non-Muslims about Islam) and remembering the poor and the less fortunate. Ramadan is about being humble, modest and abstaining not only from food, but from extravagance, over-consuming, spending, wasting food, money and resources.

Sadly, what I see today is very disturbing in that many people in Saudi Arabia are doing the exact opposite. The true purpose has been long lost and forgotten. I see people stocking up on food and spending on groceries like crazy, cooking and baking like there is no tomorrow. Women are spending their days in the kitchen instead of focusing on their religion; some out of their own will or perhaps out of learned habit and routine, some by demands from husband and even peer pressure.

When time comes for iftar, people indulge in extravagant meals and then lay around all evening snacking on deep fried, highly sweetened and unhealthy foods, watching Arabic soap operas on TV, gossiping with friends and staying up all night. Many go to shopping malls which are now open until the early morning hours for mindless shopping. Some even force their kids to stay up late or wake them in the middle of the night so that the parents don't have to get up early with them! The next day they sleep until the evening until it all starts over again at sunset.

The Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) taught Muslims by example to break the fast with simply dates and water and eat a light meal later. Pray Tawareeh prayers, then go to sleep as one normally would, get up early for night prayers and suhoor (breakfast) and go about the day working and doing things that one would normally do.

Let's not forget the true meaning of Ramadan, its purpose, and all the blessings of this month.

Break those unhealthy and binding routines and habits.

Make your Ramadan beneficial, not superficial!

Secrets of Surah Al-Kahf

from ProductiveMuslim.com

Ever wondered why Prophet Muhammad SAW asked us to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Friday?

Retyped here if you can't clearly read the above slide:-

People of the Cave

Summary: The story of young men who lived in a disbelieving town, so they decided to migrate for the sake of Allah and run away. Allah rewards them with mercy in the cave and protection from the sun. They woke up and found the entire village believers -----> Trial of Faith

The Owner of the 2 Gardens

Summary: Story of a man who Allah blessed him with 2 beautiful gardens, but the man forgot to thank the One who blessed him with everything and he even dared to doubt Allah regarding the afterlife. His garden was destroyed. He regretted at a time regret did not benefit him -----> Trial of Wealth

....................................................................................................................................................
In the middle of this Surah, Allah mentions Iblees as the one who stirs these trials:

"Behold! We said to the angels, "Bow down to Adam". They bowed down except for Iblis. He was one of the Jinns, and he broke the Command of his Lord. Will ye then take him and his progeny as protectors rather than Me? And they are enemies to you! Evil would be the exchange for the wrong-doers!"

.....................................................................................................................................................

Musa and Khidr

Summary: When Musa was aked: "Who's the most knowledgeable of the People of Earth?" Musa said "Me...", but Allah revealed to him that there's someone who knows more than him. Musa travelled to the man and learnt how the Divine Wisdom can sometimes be hidden in matters which we perceive as bad -----> Trial of Knowledge

Dhul-Qarnayn

Summary: Story of the great king that was given knowledge and power, and was going around the world, helping people and spreading all that's good. He was able to overcome the problem of Jooj-ma-Jooj and build a massive dam with the help of people whom he couldn't even understand them -----> Trial of Power

Do you now know the secret of Surah Al-Kahf? Alhamdulillah

Let us all read it today with contemplation, understanding and a sincere intention to implement its lessons to protect ourselves from the Fitnah of Dajjal and all other trials of dunia & akhirat...

Ameen.

Being Thankful to Allah

Article copied from : http://sunnahonline.com/ (so many great articles to read, do visit my friends!)

The other day while watching a network news program, I saw a Muslim woman in Kosova with her six-month-old infant, who was covered in sores and suffered from a malady of illnesses, all because it had not had a bath since its birth.

The mother explained that because of the heavy fighting, she and her family had been on the move constantly, and that luxurious such as decent food and clean water were not available to them. As the mother of a six-month-old infant myself, this struck to the very heart of me. Bath time for my son and I, is a very special time filled with play and laughter. It's a ritual we share everyday, and the fact that I would have clean water with which to bathe him, was something, until then, every time I bath my son, I try to remember to thank Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala (how far from imperfection is He and He is the Most High), for His Mercy to me. It also reminds me to be thankful for all the other "little things," that I take for granted everyday.

From the very beginning of Man's creation, the issue of gratefulness and thankfulness to Allah has been debated. After refusing to bow to 'Adam, Iblis (Satan) said:

"Then I will certainly come to them from before them and from behind them, and from the right-hand side and from the left-hand side, and Thou (Allah) shall not find most of them thankful." [Al-Qur'an 7:17]

This statement from the worst of liars has proven to be true, not only among the disbelievers, but also among the Muslims. Unfortunately, we Muslims have fallen into the trap of Iblees, and have gotten so caught up in our comings and goings, that we very rarely take the time to reflect on the Favors of Allah, and to thank Him with the thanks that is due Him. We are so busy conducting our daily lives that we forget who is really in-charge, and from where our sustenance comes. This is not the way, for Allah says:

"Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Al-Qur'an 2:152]

The problem that most of us face is what I call the, "If I only…." syndrome. If I only had a better wife, I would be grateful. If I only had sons instead of daughters, I would be grateful. If I only had a bigger house, a better car, more money, a better job, and the list goes on and on. We are constantly focused on the things we don't have, instead of being grateful to Allah for the things we do have.

This is a very serious illness, for which the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam (may Allah's peace and blessing be upon him), has given the cure. He, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, admonished us, in terms of worldly things to always look to those beneath us, for this will keep us thankful. Allah says about the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, that in him we have the best of examples. In terms of showing us how to be thankful to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, he is as Allah says. It is narrated by al-Mughira that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, used to stand in the salah (prayer) or performed salah until both his feet or legs swelled. He was asked why (he offered such an unbearable salah) he said, "Should I not be a thankful slave?" [Al-Bukhari]

As the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, advised us, the best way to stay thankful to Allah is to count His Favors in our lives everyday. For Allah says:

"And He gives you all that you ask for. But if you count the favors of Allah, never will you be able to number them. Verily, man is given up to injustice and ingratitude." [Al-Qur'an 14:34]

This statement of Allah is so true, yet we put so little value on it, and do not take heed.

The very fact that we got up this morning, that we can offer the salah that we had breakfast, that we have clothes to wear, water to bathe ourselves, that we have homes to shelter us from the elements, that we have our health, our families, etc., are all favors from Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. We should take non of it for granted, or become arrogant enough to believe that we attained any of it because of our own efforts alone.

Thankfulness frees the heart from greed, jealousy and envy. When we are thankful to Allah, we remain mindful of Him and His continuous Mercy toward us, and this in return humbles us and improves our characters. The very fact that Allah has guided us to Islam and the sunnah of His Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, in itself should be a source of continual praise. Allah says:

"Surely We have shown him the way: he may be thankful or unthankful." [Al-Qur'an 76:3]

Allah also says that only few of His servants thank Him. Let us then strive to be among these few by keeping our tongues wet with His remembrance and our hearts soft with His praise.

So true...

I asked Allah for STRENGTH, and Allah gave me DIFFICULTIES to make me STRONG..

I asked Allah for WISDOM, and Allah gave me PROBLEMS to SOLVE..

I asked Allah for COURAGE, and Allah gave me OBSTACLE to OVERCOME..

I asked Allah for LOVE, and Allah gave me TROUBLE PEOPLE to HELP..

I asked Allah for FAVOURS, and Allah gave me OPPORTUNITIES..

Maybe i received NOTHING i WANTED

but i received EVERYTHING i NEEDED...

SAVE PALESTINE

Let us start from today if we haven't yet...

REMEMBER THIS IMAGE THE NEXT TIME YOU FEEL THE URGE TO BUY A CUP OF COFFEE AT STARBUCKS/ A BURGER AT MCDONALDS/ A BOTTLE OF COKE...



Respect for Stay-at-home-moms

People usually downgrade SAHM and some SAHM have low self-esteem…

My personal opinion is:

I totally absolutely salute SAHM!!! of course, true SAHM who take care of their family with whole heart… yg ngelat asyik layan drama bersiri dan ngadap FB smpi tak kisah anak tak included in this category ok… They wake up, prepare breakfast for their husband and kids, then some take the duty of driving their kids to school and everywhere else, make sure the house is clean, the laundry runs every day, play with their kids at home, help their kids with their homework etc…

Of course I’m not saying working mom doesn’t do all those things… it’s just the way we do it… I’m a working mom… I wake up, then prepare n pack my baby’s meal for the day, then feed my baby, change his diaper and play for a few minutes before it’s off to work time... I spend usually an hour with him in the morning before going to the office… the hour with him is while I try to prepare myself to work as well… so the attention would be around 60-70%... when he’s excited waking up and ready for a full play time, I always feel dishearten when I have to pick him up from what’s he’s playing to send him off to the babysitter’s home… I always wish I could just stay with him at home and do whatever he wants to do… guilt guilt guilt… if I wasn’t working, I wouldn’t have to rush him playing like ok, another 5 minutes then we have to go…

And then compared to working, taking care of your family 24 hours every day is really exhausting! This is my comparison to my job… not to say I have an easy job, just moderate… my job involves deadlines almost every day, attending to client requests, mostly in front of the computer but I do have to go to the printer/copy/fax machine like 10 times a day… so it is quite tiring to the mind especially and body a bit but I still have the luxury of sitting down and drinking a cup of coffee, or spending a few minutes chit chatting with my officemates…

I had the experience of staying at home for 3 months after delivery and oh my… I lost all the weight I gained during pregnancy just like that! Sila petik jari… This is because of all the rushing here and there fending to the baby’s needs… when the baby’s asleep, I’m busy taking care of other chores… even now when we spend the weekend together, I easily loose 1kg… seriously… I would weight myself on Friday evening then on Monday morning tadaa… 1kg lighter… but of course gain it back by Friday, hehe… so the secret to maintaining my weight is taking care of my baby… I love getting on my hands and knees chasing my little one (he’s crawling now) around the house and really just playing with him… now I’m slowly encouraging DH to do the same since he needs to shed a few kilos… hikhikhik…

So, for me, it’s a true sacrifice to make the decision to stay with your child at home… Although I would love to hand in my resignation letter today to my boss… sure pitam my boss if I resign… There are a few very important reasons that are holding me back… Not to say that my child is not as important if not more… but for the time being it is what it is… sedih…

To SAHM: Be proud of who you are and what you are doing!

To working moms: Although we have limit time with our child, the important is to make every moment spent a quality time…

Maher Zain - So Soon | Official Music Video

InsyaAllah, we'll be welcoming the holy month of Ramadhan this weekend... Yesterday DH suddenly said to me how this coming Ramadhan reminds him of his passsing mom... Last year his mom was in the hospital the whole month of Ramadhan... our routine last ramadhan was went to work then off to the hospital to spend time with his mom then break fast at the hospital...His mom past on the 4th day of Syawal... so this year Eidul Fitri celebration is surely a bittersweet occasion... it will mark a year since MIL passed away... at the same time it's our first celebration having a child... Sesungguhnya Allah swt itu Maha Adil... so the mood would be neutral i guess...

Anyway, have you gotten Maher Zain's new album? i was lucky to be given a free copy from a colleague of mine... Thanks Sai! There's one particular song on the album that caught our ears... the song "so soon" totally expresses what we feel about the passing of our loved ones... DH mom, my grandma and aunt, all passed away last year... hearing this song makes us shed tears... the important is that we pray everyday that their soul are in peace...

Enjoy this song... and... remember to cherish your love ones every moment...

 

Every time I close my eyes I see you in front of me
I still can hear your voice calling out my name
And I remember all the stories you told me
I miss the time you were around [x2]
But I’m so grateful for every moment I spent with you
‘Cause I know life won’t last forever

You went so soon, so soon
You left so soon, so soon
I have to move on ’cause I know it’s been too long
I’ve got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong
I’ll try to take it all, even though it’s so hard
I see you in my dreams but when I wake up you are gone
Gone so soon

Night and day, I still feel you are close to me
And I remember you in every prayer that I make
Every single day may you be shaded by His mercy

But life is not the same, and it will never be the same
But I’m so thankful for every memory I shared with you
‘Cause I know this life is not forever

You went so soon, so soon
You left so soon, so soon
I have to move on ’cause I know it’s been too long
I’ve got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong
I’ll try to take it all, even though it’s so hard
I see you in my dreams but when I wake up you are gone

There were days when I had no strength to go on
I felt so weak and I just couldn’t help asking: “Why?”
But I got through all the pain when I truly accepted
That to God we all belong, and to Him we’ll return, ooh

You went so soon, so soon
You left so soon, so soon
I have to move on ’cause I know it’s been too long
I’ve got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong
I’ll try to take it all, even though it’s so hard
I see you in my dreams but when I wake up you are gone
Gone so soon

The Transfer and Pregnancy so far...

As mentioned in my previous entry, the embryo transfer was done on 8 April... only 2 embryoes were qualified to be transferred... although not many as others going through IVF, at least there were growing embryoes to be transferred... i knew some people who didn't make it this far because their embryo didn't develop/grew...

Overall the procedure was not painful... just uncomfortable... unlike during the egg retrieval procedure where i was put under general anesthesia, this time no anesthetic was given... so, you're wide awake during the whole process, having the doc and nurses looking at my you-know-what for a few minutes...

At first the embryologist showed the embryos at the TV screen before the procedure started... She showed both embryoes... here's a pic of one of them... this is one of the fascinating thing about IVF, you get to see your baby development from the very very beginning!



so then the doc inserted the cold speculum to my you-know-what then inserted a special tube and directed it to my uterus... the doc did this with the guidance of the ultrasound machine... then after reciting Bismillah ("In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate") the embryos were injected to my uterus... the Doc ended the procedure with a doa, ameen by all present in the procedure room... syahdu time nih... then he said to me he has done all that he could to help me conceive now it is in Allah swt hands to fulfill my wish or not... i thank him... then the nurse adjust my feet to a higher position and i was left for half an hour to rest before going home...

i was given a week medical leave...the next appointment to check whether i was pregnant or not was about a month later... during the first two weeks after transfer, i didn't feel a bit different... i was convinced the procedure failed... especially i had two incidents of choc stain on my panty so i thought the emryos must have come out from my uterus... the wait was a major emotional challenge which i cannot describe... you try to keep positive but you have all these doubts running through your mind...

when my period was due but didn't came, i was a bit happy and encouraged... people told me to do a home pregnancy test but i just didn't have the courage to do so... those of you who are/have been trying to conceive would understand the feeling of doing UPT each month but only to be heartbroken to see a single line... so i never did a UPT...anyway upon passing my period due date, i suddenly had this high fever... i was shivering cold but my body was boiling up to 38.5 degree celsius. so i went to see the fertility doc before my appointment date but was told to take frequent showers to cool down the body and take panadol only when required... the doc also mentioned that a high fever at this early stage can effect the implantation process or cause miscarriage if there was implantation... we were devastated to learn this...

fast forward to the day to find out whether i was pregnant or not... on 4 May that is... we saw this during the ultrasound...



the presence of a sac confirmed we were pregnant with a singleton!!! the other embryo didn't make it... but we are super happy anyway that our first IVF cycle was a success...

besides having the high fever... other symptoms that i had throughout the pregnancy especially during the first and early second trimesters were nausea, vomitting, no apetite, couldn't even drink plain water... of course fatigue, sleepy all the time... and i can't cook... can't be without air conditioning... and i was diagnosed of having a big cyst at 4 months pregnancy... the doc that i'm seeing for pregnancy checkups suggested an operation after 5 months pregnancy to avoid complication when the baby grows bigger but luckily she referred me back to the fertility doc and he strongly advised her not to do anything to the cyst unless necessary... he has seen similar cases in IVF patients... the cyst grew because of all the drugs taken during IVF...

Alhamdulillah i have now reach the third semester... most of the pregnancy symptoms have gone except for the unable to cook, cannot live without air conditioning and laziness... more over now i get tired so easily, feeling out of breath even after doing a simple task... guess is because the baby is bigger now... but a lot of people commented how small my tummy is compared to how far along i am...

All praises to Allah swt for making our dream come true and we hope and pray hard that our baby will be born into this world in healthy condition... Ameen...

IVF updates...

on D12 the Doctor scanned the follicles to checked that they've grown to a mature stage for retrieval...

that night i had to take a final shot of this med...see the note i scribbled on the box... the nurse stressed the importance of injecting this med on time...



on D14 the doctor picked up the follicles... i had to fast the night before and was given sleeping med during the procedure... the total of eggs retrieved was 8... not too many since i only have one ovary... after the procedure felt cramping the whole day like before getting your period... i was informed that this and a little bleeding is very common...

i was instructed to take this hormone pill 3 times a day and wait for the call from the embryologist for the next stage...



2 days after the pick up the embryologist called me...asked me to come to the hospital on Friday for the transfer... she told me they will transfer 2 embryos... and she instructed me to start taking the ventolin pills... the pills will help to relax the muscle ...



well, TODAY is the EMBRYO TRANSFER DAY!!! my appointment is at 3 pm... so right now i'm just relaxing at home...

i'm so excited right now... DH and i pray that this will be it... hopefully everything will turn out well...

Our IVF cycle starts...

As i've mentioned before the cycle for IVF starts on day 2 of a menstrual cycle. before the expected period, we had to go and purchase the hormones at the hospital... the hormones must be kept at 0-4 celcius so we had to bring along a cooler box with us to the hospital...

we bought our own cooler box but you can actually rent one at the fertility centre. from D2 to D7 DH had to inject me every morning with a dose of the hormone to encourage growth of eggs... here's the hormone in our cooler box...





to inject the hormone we were provided (rent) a special "pen" with a fine needle... here's a pic of the "pen" in its casing... the small white containers are the needles... have to use a new needle for each injection...



if you're wondering how big is the needle, here's a pic of the needle...



my first injection was when we were at my parents house... of course i was freaking out that morning, even woke up several times the night before thinking about starting the injections... luckily hubby was so calm like he's been doing injections all his life... and most importantly, it didn't hurt at all... just like being bit by an ant...

if you're wondering about the price... each box of the hormone cost RM420... till today we bought 5 boxes already... do the math your self...

on D6, D8, D10, D12 (planned so far) i have to go to the hospital for follicular monitoring... they check how many eggs i'm producing and the sizes... so far i have 5 eggs that are looking good... i have only one ovary that's why my eggs are not much as others going through IVF who can produce more eggs from 2 ovaries... oh well, as my doctor says "it's the quality that counts not quantity!"

starting D8 i was given another med to inject on top of the previous hormone... this med was to stop the follicles from releasing the eggs...

here's the other med... each dose comes in a syringe... so we just throw the syringe after every shot...



now the needles for this syringe is much thicker than the "pen" and i do feel pain each time injected with this med...tahan je lah!



so far that's all we've been through... we are not informed yet on the dates of eggs retrieval and embryo transfer...

at present we are feeling good... just going through each step accordingly... we do not think about the result that much... because we know ultimately it is in Allah swt hands whether we will be success in this procedure or not... and we believe whatever the outcome may be, it will be the best for us...

What a Great Reading!!!

i came across this book at mph bookstore... the title attracted me instantly... and for just RM 19.90, i never knew then that my perspective on life would soon be changed...



the author geniously wrote in a manner as though his talking directly to you personally... he present the facts with simple yet eye opening examples and of course supports by reciting the relevant Quran verses...

the book is thoughtfully presented, starting by discussing what we perceive as challenges in life, why we have to have faith in God, why we have to believe in fate and how to always be a happy and winning person looking beyond the challenges in life... mashaAllah, this book really speaks to the heart... the author also does not simply push facts to you, he discuss each matter thoroughly... by the end of the book you will feel so fulfilled and enlightened...

i love this book so much that i even bought a few as a gift to friends and family...

one example the author presented on how we are just weak human beings to understand the masterplan of Allah swt is this example on how a child when sitting and looking from below where his mother is stitching commented on what is his mother doing that looks from below/behind the stitching work so ugly. So the mothers then shows her stitching work from above and only does the child see how beautiful the stitching work actually is... the author compared this example to how we human beings look from our weak perspective how challenges in life are always a burden that we often question why do they even exist at all... but instead if we look from a different perspective we'll see that Allah's plan is the greatest of all... challenges in life makes us much much much better human beings... of course the author discuss this matter much better than what i'm trying to share here... the book is in Malay so it's a bit difficult for me to review the book in English...



The bottomline is the book is great and anyone needing some motivation in life should buy and read this book!

IVF is our only chance!

Last Thursday had gone to the hospital for HSG test...

the result? as expected... since this was my second time doing the test, i'd assume the result was the same as the first time...

yep, my tube is blocked... the contrast dye didn't flow through... they concentrated on my right tube since i've only got the right ovary...

so with one ovary left and non-functional tube, i can only conceive by IVF...

my next appointment is in Feb to discuss and plan the IVF...

we are not sad... redha...

we just have to work a little harder in order to have a child...

insyaAllah, our hope will come true... someday...