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Friday, April 25, 2014

Auditing my blog

Once, I decided to delete this blog because of it's temptation to share every experience in life... I recall someone sharing a reminder... something like this - don't share about what food you just had because someone reading might be hungry, don't share joyful moments with your children for someone reading may be longing to have a child of their own, etc... don't remember the exact wordings but the conclusion is that whatever info you share, you should be concern of the effects it has to other people...
Also, I fear of pictures in this blog that may not properly cover my aurat/aurah and also my family member's and friend's aurat/aurah...
However, I decided to keep this blog because it provides a medium for me to share beneficial information with others...
So, I have audited and removed all personal post, which doesn't seem to benefit others much... and left post about my IVF experience (for people TTC) and other religious and parenting articles that I think could benefit others...
Remember dear friends, we will be judged for EVERY SINGLE THING that we do... don't let information technology be the reason for us to be punished in hellfire... use technology as a medium for da'wah and spreading goodness...
#this post serve as a self reminder also ;)

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Kaedah Menghafal Al-Quran Kaedah DarwishDarwisya

Menuntut ilmu adalah Taqwa; Menyampaikan ilmu adalah Ibadah; Mencari ilmu adalah Jihad;
Alhamdulillah, DH and I managed to attend this seminar in Shah Alam last September. I am sharing here what we've learned at the one-day seminar. For anyone interested to get the full notes, just leave your email and i'll email to you a softcopy of the notes, in shaa Allah... Pn. Lina clearly stated that there is no copyright in her notes and she encourages us to share the knowledge we've gained with every parents we know...

So here goes...

For those who doesn't know who Pn. Lina is? She is the founder of Islamic Parenting Network (IPN) and is a mother of 2 young children, the eldest Darwisya (7 years) and the youngest Darwish (5 years). Both of her children managed to learn and memorize 30 surah of the Quran at the age of 3! You can learn more about this at her blog She doesn't update her blog regularly but you can get newsletters from her by leaving your email at her blog and she'll provide you with useful tips on Islamic Parenting. I've learned about IPN and their series of lectures via her newsletters...
Pn. Lina only had her 1st child after several years of marriage (like us!)... while she was carrying her first child, she read so many books on parenting... both secular and Islamic parenting methods... Her inspiration to teach her children Quran at the very early stage is Imam Shafie who had memorized the whole of Quran at 7 years old! She is also inspired by the upbringing of Sultan Muhammad Al Fateh.
The secrets to nurturing a smart child are:
1. Start early!
2. Start right!
3. Consistent!

Pn. Lina stressed that it is our responsibilities as parents to teach our children. We cannot just rely on the school teachers who manages at least 30 kids in a classroom.

To memorize the Quran requires the function of both left and right brain. But, for children age 0-6 years, they learn mostly through right brain (imaginative/subjective). The ultimate vision when teaching Quran to our children is of course Heaven, our ultimate destination... that is why Pn. Lina chose to teach Hijaiyah letters to her children instead of ABCs... She believes that if we could teach our children Quran at an early stage, other skills will follow easily in shaa Allah... for example learning to pronounce the words of Quran will help kids with speech problem (pelat) because the pronunciation (makhraj) will train the tongue to speak clearly.
The essential steps when teaching your children are:
1. Cut the Noise - TV, radio, internet, newspaper...

2. Ignore a messy home - allow children to do messy arts and crafts to let their creativity grow.

3. Quran recitation during playtime and sleeptime. Especially when the child is about to sleep (baru  nak lelap/ mamai2). This period is called hypnagogic moment and science has proven that at this state, the mind is more ready to receive any input than at other times.. On the subject of sleep - try to adjust your child's sleeptime. Wake up early (suboh), nap at noon and sleep after isya'. Avoid sleeping after subohasar and during maghrib.

How to teach?
Simply sitting down is not the effective way of teaching your children. Try to teach them in an environment which stimulates their visual, auditory and kinaesthetic (VAK model). For example, teach hijaiyah letters using flashcards with Quran recitation in the background while the children play their toys. Research has shown that children actually retain more mathematics if there is classical music playing softly in the backround. An example of applying the VAK model in your parenting is when complimenting your child - smile (visual), compliment (auditory) with hug and kisses (kinaesthetic).

0-4 months old babies can only see the colours red, white and black. So, start teaching using flashcards with these colours by hanging over their crib or at the area they play.
Start with baby friendly letters - aliff, mim, ba, ya, etc...

On using flashcard:
1. Select 5-7 cards that you want to teach;
2. Show each card for 10-15 seconds;
3. Look into your child's eye and let him see your mouth pronouncing the letters with open mouth (nganga luas2 ye);
4. Repeat 1-2 times each day.

Do not set any target when teaching as this will lead to stress; Beware! Do not yell and do not hit while teaching -  children could mentally shut down if they had bad experience while learning..

Try to think of creative ways of teaching, e.g. stick different flashcards in different areas of the house

After learning the hijaiyah letters, teach them the meaning of the rules (atas, bawah, depan), then teach them to read the connected letters.

Teaching tools:
1. Flashcards - a set for flashing, a set for sticking all over the house, a set for the children to hold and play
2 - CDs of Quran recitation - to play in the house, in the car

The most important of learning at an early age is to teach them HOW to learn not simply teach them what's in the book!

Foods which stimulate the mind:
1. Almond
2. Raisin
3. Fish oil
4. Dates
5. Honey
6. Habbatus sauda'
7. Tiin
8. Olive oil
9. Ordinary water which have been read Surah Taha (Fatihah 1x, Taha Ayat 1-23 11x) is a food for the soul (~doa nabi Musa utk mohon kebijaksanaan)
10. Egg
11. Ginger
12. Delima
13. Milk
# honey and milk is a must everyday!

Unusual tip - keep your drinking water and RICE in the bedroom because the bedroom is where you pray and recite Quran... it will affect the food to be more effective to the soul!

Avoid consuming any liver including cod liver oil, chicken wings, fish head, junk food, carbonated drinks.

Most importantly, PRAY! a mother's prayer antara doa yg terjamin makbul!

Side Notes:

1. Learn with your children.
2. Apply reward system
3. Spend time with your children (jangan kedekut masa dengan anak)
4. Didiklah anakmu mengikut zamannya - use gadgets for learning
5. Treat your children like an adult
6. The first 4 years (0-4) are the most important years of a child mental development.
7. As parents, we control our child, do not let your children control you.

When children showing tantrum, let them be until they stop by themselves. Do not give in. Do not be angry/yell/hit, it'll make matter worse.

How to get your child to do what you want:
1. Tell them WHY you want them to do something;
2. If they resist, show them you're mad without yelling;
3. Do a countdown cth: Ibu kira sampai 10 dah kena tutup TV;
4. Hit as a signal not to hurt (hit their ego);
5. Give motivation;
6. Give compliments;
7. Tell them about Allah's love;
8. Tell them the advantage of reading Quran - loved and protected by Allah swt...

What I've shared here is only 50% of what you'll actually gain if you joined the seminar. So, I definitely recommend attending the seminar to every parents. Visit for their schedule and location of seminars.

Pn. Lina mentioned during the starting of the seminar that we were the chosen one to have attend the seminar but not everyone in the room will have the motivation to actually apply what they've learnt. How true! So far we have implemented only half of what we've learned in the seminar. We still have a long journey ahead of us in teaching our son... but we do believe in the method taught by Pn. Lina. Lots of parents has success stories on teaching based on Pn. Lina's method (cth: umur setahun dah kenal semua huruf hijaiyah!). We just need to keep being motivated!

Next seminar - Seminar Parenting Gaya Al-Fateh, in shaa Allah will attend in January 2014 in Shah Alam...

Friday, August 30, 2013

Why we shouldn’t judge people


People are very quick to form judgements on others, and mostly without looking at themselves first. Being quick to criticize someone, a muslim or a non-muslim, is something to be avoided because we do not know a persons intention, and they may be far better than us.

A person’s outward actions

Right now, all we see are the actions that the person has done so far in their life. We do not know later on what they will be doing, or that in secret they might be giving away lots of charity (for instance) which pleases Allah, and maybe they will be much better than us.


Hadith #4 of Imam Nawawi

Prophet Muhammad said:
[...] I swear by Allah – there is no God but He – one of you may perform the deeds of the people of Paradise till there is naught but an arm’s length between him and it, when that which has been written will outstrip him so that he performs the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire; one of you may perform the deeds of the people of the Hell Fire, till there is naught but an arm’s length between him and it, when that which has been written will overtake him so that he performs the deeds of the people of Paradise and enters therein.”
[Al-Bukhari & Muslim, Narrated by Abu 'Abd al-Rahman 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud]

The lesson to be taken

We may see someone not acting in accordance with Allah’s actions and judge them to be a bad person. Only Allah knows their Niyyah (Intention) and later on in life they may be more succesful than us. We should focus on sharpening ourselves and strengthening ur good deeds rather than bickering with other people about details of their life.

Make 70 excuses

Hamdun al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims, said:
“If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves [ibid]“
And the words of Imam Jafar as-Sadiq
“If you find see something you don’t like in a brother, try to find 1-70 excuses for him. And if you can’t find an excuse, say ‘There might be an excuse, but I don’t know it.“
This is a very solid rule to live by when you see someone doing something wrong, because you won’t waste time worrying about them or trying to change them – one of the 70 excuses could be that maybe their Niyyah is not to do something wrong, or they do not know, or they will realize later and try to correct their mistake.
If we think they do not know what they are doing is wrong we should try to tell them in a gentle way. Pointing fingers and calling a muslim ‘Kaafir!’ is highly unlikely to be productive!

Prophet Musa and A;-Khidr

In Surah Al Kahf from ayah 60 till 82, is the story of Prophet Musa and Khidr. To sum up the story briefly, Prophet Musa followed a learned man called Al-Khidr to get guidance. He kept seeing Al-Khidr do actions that to Musa seemed wrong and Musa would speak up and point out that they were wrong. At the end, it turned out that Al-Khidrs intention had been good all along and though his actions seemed wrong he was actually doing them to benefit the people. This shows us that there are things of which we have no knowledge and should not think that we do.

Being harsh to non-Muslims

We will undoubtedly see non-Muslims behaving in ways that are not in accordance to our beliefs (obviously, because they are non-Muslims and don’t have the same lifestyle as a Muslim). Before we judge them and call them ‘Kufaar’ (a harsh term that is translated as ‘Infidels’ but really means someone who hides or covers, in this case, tey are covering up the truth from their Lord by denying it), we should think about the fact that all the people at the Prophet’s time were converts to Islam. They might have done actions that before were wrong but they converted to Islam and corrected their ways.
Ibn Umar, one of the closest companions of the Prophet, was on his way to kill the Prophet when he then converted. Now if someone saw him on his way to kill the Prophet and said ‘Kaafir! Infidel!’, they would be wrong in that judgement because he went on to become one of the strongest Muslims and leaders of our Ummah.

Calling muslims Kaafir

We should not call fellow muslims Kaafir, (which is a very common thing these days).
Prophet Muhammad said:
“If a man addresses his brother as, ‘O’ Disbeliever’ (Kaafir) it returns to one of them; either it is as he said or it returns to him.”
Sahih Bukhari 10/427 and Sahih Muslim 60, Narrated by Ibn Umar
This means that if a Muslim calls a Muslim a Kaafir, then one of them is a Kaafir but it is not the one who is being accused but rather the one who is making the judgement.

Standing united

We need to stand united as an Ummah, now more than ever when outside forces are trying to divide us all (divide and conquer!). We may not always agree wth each other but we need to focus on what we do agree on; that Allah is One and Muhammad is his Messenger. Anything after that is between us and Allah. Abu Bakr and Umar had different ways of ruling when they were Caliphs, and they never called each other Kaafir or quarreled extensively over their small differences. This is because we can only work with the knowledge we have to the best of our abilities and understandings. If someone doesn’t agree with us it’s okay; you’re never going to meet someone who agrees with you 100% on everything.

All judgement belongs to Allah

The Youm-Al Qiyaam, the Day of Judgement, is called that for a reason. Allah is the best of all judges and on that day everyone will be judged acording to their actions. We are merely human beings who have little understanding of these matters, so we should focus on ourselves so that we are not judged harshly by Allah on that day, rather than spending our energy on judging others.
Insha’Allah Allah will give us all guidance, and help us to help others.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The true meaning of Ramadan

A reminder to myself...

Credit to
One day I watched all the ward clerks praying together with some nurses and doctors in the staff room where I was doing charting. I finally mustered up the confidence to ask about Ramadan, despite the fact that they were all Saudi males and I felt a little intimidated to approach them on this matter. I remember simply asking "why do you fast during Ramadan?"
I was blown away by the reply. Looking back, the way one of the men explained it to me in such a nice and respectable way was commendable, despite my seemingly super ignorant question
He told me: "We fast to remember all those people who cannot eat and drink daily. We fast to feel their suffering, to remind ourselves of how blessed we are to have food and water. "
"We fast to feel those same pangs of hunger that our poor sisters and brothers feel daily around the world."
"We fast to become more generous, to practise self-discipline and to strive to become better Muslims and people."
His words had a profound impact on me. Somehow I had failed to see the true meaning of the fast. I started to look at it from an entirely different perspective.

I came to realize, that in reality, Ramadan is so much more than just abstaining from food and drink during the daylight hours. Basically, Muslims are supposed to abstain from all harmful acts as much as possible and concentrate on becoming a better person and Muslim. Everyone can set their own goals for Ramadan according to their life situation and abilities. While one person struggles to quit smoking, another might set as a goal to read the entire Quran during Ramadan. Some might plan to pray extra prayers every day, donate to charity or memorize a new Surah from the Quran.

So I learned from my Muslim colleagues that Ramadan is also about remembering our Creator, reading the Quran, which was sent down during the month of Ramadan, doing good deeds (out of a sincere wish to do them, not by habit or force), being kind to others, giving out Dawah (teaching, not preaching non-Muslims about Islam) and remembering the poor and the less fortunate. Ramadan is about being humble, modest and abstaining not only from food, but from extravagance, over-consuming, spending, wasting food, money and resources.

Sadly, what I see today is very disturbing in that many people in Saudi Arabia are doing the exact opposite. The true purpose has been long lost and forgotten. I see people stocking up on food and spending on groceries like crazy, cooking and baking like there is no tomorrow. Women are spending their days in the kitchen instead of focusing on their religion; some out of their own will or perhaps out of learned habit and routine, some by demands from husband and even peer pressure.

When time comes for iftar, people indulge in extravagant meals and then lay around all evening snacking on deep fried, highly sweetened and unhealthy foods, watching Arabic soap operas on TV, gossiping with friends and staying up all night. Many go to shopping malls which are now open until the early morning hours for mindless shopping. Some even force their kids to stay up late or wake them in the middle of the night so that the parents don't have to get up early with them! The next day they sleep until the evening until it all starts over again at sunset.

The Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) taught Muslims by example to break the fast with simply dates and water and eat a light meal later. Pray Tawareeh prayers, then go to sleep as one normally would, get up early for night prayers and suhoor (breakfast) and go about the day working and doing things that one would normally do.

Let's not forget the true meaning of Ramadan, its purpose, and all the blessings of this month.

Break those unhealthy and binding routines and habits.

Make your Ramadan beneficial, not superficial!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Secrets of Surah Al-Kahf


Ever wondered why Prophet Muhammad SAW asked us to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Friday?

Retyped here if you can't clearly read the above slide:-

People of the Cave

Summary: The story of young men who lived in a disbelieving town, so they decided to migrate for the sake of Allah and run away. Allah rewards them with mercy in the cave and protection from the sun. They woke up and found the entire village believers -----> Trial of Faith

The Owner of the 2 Gardens

Summary: Story of a man who Allah blessed him with 2 beautiful gardens, but the man forgot to thank the One who blessed him with everything and he even dared to doubt Allah regarding the afterlife. His garden was destroyed. He regretted at a time regret did not benefit him -----> Trial of Wealth

In the middle of this Surah, Allah mentions Iblees as the one who stirs these trials:
"Behold! We said to the angels, "Bow down to Adam". They bowed down except for Iblis. He was one of the Jinns, and he broke the Command of his Lord. Will ye then take him and his progeny as protectors rather than Me? And they are enemies to you! Evil would be the exchange for the wrong-doers!"

Musa and Khidr

Summary: When Musa was aked: "Who's the most knowledgeable of the People of Earth?" Musa said "Me...", but Allah revealed to him that there's someone who knows more than him. Musa travelled to the man and learnt how the Divine Wisdom can sometimes be hidden in matters which we perceive as bad -----> Trial of Knowledge


Summary: Story of the great king that was given knowledge and power, and was going around the world, helping people and spreading all that's good. He was able to overcome the problem of Jooj-ma-Jooj and build a massive dam with the help of people whom he couldn't even understand them -----> Trial of Power

Do you now know the secret of Surah Al-Kahf? Alhamdulillah

Let us all read it today with contemplation, understanding and a sincere intention to implement its lessons to protect ourselves from the Fitnah of Dajjal and all other trials of dunia & akhirat...


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Being Thankful to Allah

Article copied from : (so many great articles to read, do visit my friends!)

The other day while watching a network news program, I saw a Muslim woman in Kosova with her six-month-old infant, who was covered in sores and suffered from a malady of illnesses, all because it had not had a bath since its birth.

The mother explained that because of the heavy fighting, she and her family had been on the move constantly, and that luxurious such as decent food and clean water were not available to them. As the mother of a six-month-old infant myself, this struck to the very heart of me. Bath time for my son and I, is a very special time filled with play and laughter. It's a ritual we share everyday, and the fact that I would have clean water with which to bathe him, was something, until then, every time I bath my son, I try to remember to thank Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala (how far from imperfection is He and He is the Most High), for His Mercy to me. It also reminds me to be thankful for all the other "little things," that I take for granted everyday.

From the very beginning of Man's creation, the issue of gratefulness and thankfulness to Allah has been debated. After refusing to bow to 'Adam, Iblis (Satan) said:

"Then I will certainly come to them from before them and from behind them, and from the right-hand side and from the left-hand side, and Thou (Allah) shall not find most of them thankful." [Al-Qur'an 7:17]

This statement from the worst of liars has proven to be true, not only among the disbelievers, but also among the Muslims. Unfortunately, we Muslims have fallen into the trap of Iblees, and have gotten so caught up in our comings and goings, that we very rarely take the time to reflect on the Favors of Allah, and to thank Him with the thanks that is due Him. We are so busy conducting our daily lives that we forget who is really in-charge, and from where our sustenance comes. This is not the way, for Allah says:

"Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Al-Qur'an 2:152]

The problem that most of us face is what I call the, "If I only…." syndrome. If I only had a better wife, I would be grateful. If I only had sons instead of daughters, I would be grateful. If I only had a bigger house, a better car, more money, a better job, and the list goes on and on. We are constantly focused on the things we don't have, instead of being grateful to Allah for the things we do have.

This is a very serious illness, for which the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam (may Allah's peace and blessing be upon him), has given the cure. He, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, admonished us, in terms of worldly things to always look to those beneath us, for this will keep us thankful. Allah says about the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, that in him we have the best of examples. In terms of showing us how to be thankful to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, he is as Allah says. It is narrated by al-Mughira that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, used to stand in the salah (prayer) or performed salah until both his feet or legs swelled. He was asked why (he offered such an unbearable salah) he said, "Should I not be a thankful slave?" [Al-Bukhari]

As the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, advised us, the best way to stay thankful to Allah is to count His Favors in our lives everyday. For Allah says:

"And He gives you all that you ask for. But if you count the favors of Allah, never will you be able to number them. Verily, man is given up to injustice and ingratitude." [Al-Qur'an 14:34]

This statement of Allah is so true, yet we put so little value on it, and do not take heed.
The very fact that we got up this morning, that we can offer the salah that we had breakfast, that we have clothes to wear, water to bathe ourselves, that we have homes to shelter us from the elements, that we have our health, our families, etc., are all favors from Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. We should take non of it for granted, or become arrogant enough to believe that we attained any of it because of our own efforts alone.

Thankfulness frees the heart from greed, jealousy and envy. When we are thankful to Allah, we remain mindful of Him and His continuous Mercy toward us, and this in return humbles us and improves our characters. The very fact that Allah has guided us to Islam and the sunnah of His Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, in itself should be a source of continual praise. Allah says:

"Surely We have shown him the way: he may be thankful or unthankful." [Al-Qur'an 76:3]

Allah also says that only few of His servants thank Him. Let us then strive to be among these few by keeping our tongues wet with His remembrance and our hearts soft with His praise.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

So true...

I asked Allah for STRENGTH, and Allah gave me DIFFICULTIES to make me STRONG..

I asked Allah for WISDOM, and Allah gave me PROBLEMS to SOLVE..

I asked Allah for COURAGE, and Allah gave me OBSTACLE to OVERCOME..

I asked Allah for LOVE, and Allah gave me TROUBLE PEOPLE to HELP..

I asked Allah for FAVOURS, and Allah gave me OPPORTUNITIES..

Maybe i received NOTHING i WANTED
but i received EVERYTHING i NEEDED...